I have two children 7 years apart. My first born was the perfect child. Sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. A calm and easy baby as far as babies go. The anxiety was all within me because I honestly never had great dreams of being a mom. I was never against it either. It was something I figured I’d do because that’s what you do isn’t it?
Luckily my first born made it look easy. He made me look like a perfect mom and the difficulties I had with him were tough but I honestly had no idea how tough it could actually be. Each year he got older I found myself just loving how much he was growing personality wise. He was a bit too timid at times but it was part of a really laid back nature. Plus I was really shy growing up.
Things were great and then we decided to get pregnant again. My son actually was wondering if he’d ever have a sibling. That’s when we took the plunge. It was 7 years and 2 days later that his younger brother was born. The nurse at the hospital said I had the calmest baby in the nursery. Could we be so lucky? Again?
This new baby did not sleep through the night till 6 months old. He was fussy and needy and I found myself at my wit’s end. He turned normal things into dangerous climbing apparatuses. He had been to the ER twice before 2 years of age. Of course he also loved to laugh and play and as he grew I found he loved as hard as he played and cried. He was a wonderful emotional being that had my heart but who later would get in trouble for it.
We spend all our time teaching our kids to run and walk and talk and speak up and then we send them to school and its shut up and sit down and listen. My son struggled to get with the program. His impulsivity getting him in deep trouble. In daycare we had to speak to his teacher and director often. In kinder we had him evaluated after some incidents but the teacher felt she had the patience for him and luckily also had a love for his other qualities. He then had a great first grade teacher who also loved him and worked with him. And then we had to move.
His new teacher now doesn’t have the patience or love for him. She had a tightly ran classroom that was now being interrupted by my son who liked to talk and laugh and didn’t just keep his mouth shut when asked to shut it. The phone calls started and I felt beat down. Was it time to get him evaluated again? We spent a three day weekend just trying to teach him the importance or getting with the program. This included more punishments than usual and lectures and lots of tears on all ends.
Hes had two good days thus far and we wondered if we should have always been this tough. It’s so hard to essentially kill his spirit to conform to what society expects. I hate that his strengths and the wonderful qualities that make him him are being seen as bad or stifled. As an adult all those things would be celebrated. Except for the tantrums maybe. It’s tough raising him and I only hope the best for him. If it ends up being something more medically then we will come to that when the time comes. For now i just hope we are doing right by him .
How have you handled your tough kid situations?